Christian Lacroix Lists Paris Apartment

SELLER: Christian Lacroix
LOCATION: Paris, France
PRICE: €2,000,000
SIZE: 2,150 square foot (approx.), 4 bedrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Like all the other real estate gossips, Your Mama peruses the Private Properties column in The Wall Street Journal every week and the paper's most recent column reported that Haute-Couture hotshot Christian Lacroix (that's Luh-kwah, children) listed his Parisian pied-a-terre for sale with an asking price of €2,000,000. A few flicks of the beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus shows that converts to 2,652,500 U.S. clams at today's rates.

Iffin any of the children aren't already familiar with and in awe of Monsieur Luh-kwah's super sumptuous, prodigiously ruffled, cacophonously colorful, fantastically theatrical and hideously expensive clothing confections Your Mama recommends that you haul your deprived hineys immediately over to the couturier's internet portal and spend a some time swooning over the dee-lishus high fashion insanity.

Although we could talk a blue streak about Monsieur Luh-kwah's glorious follies in fabric, it's the real estate we're here to discuss, so let's get to the Luh-kwah's crib located in the gay, gay, gay Marais district in central Paris. Yes children, we know there are lots of Jewish people and Chinese folks and all other sorts of groups living up in the Marais too, but this historic and charming neighborhood is unquestionably a destination for hordes of Parisian homosexuals and their admirers.

Oh dear, we digress yet again.

Listing information and the Private Properties column report reveal the Lacroix apartment, located in a 17th century building near the soo-blime Place des Vosges, spans two floors–plus a mezzanine library accessed via some rickety looking stairs just barely wide enough to fit the slim hips of a visiting supermodel–and measures around 2,150 square feet with wonderfully high 13 foot ceilings. The kitchen and the bathrooms have been renovated.

Four bedrooms occupy the lower floor while the upper floor includes the public rooms which surround a 200 square feet interior courtyard where we wish Monsieur Lacroix had thought to put away the damn ladder before having photographs snapped. The modest and surprisingly restrained apartment retains much original detailing including well worn parquet floors and those unbelievably decadant and dee-voonly gorgeous gilded moldings in the master bedroom.

We can already hear some of the children snickering and having all kinds of righteous hissy fits and screaming that this place is one decorative hot mess. And if you look at it through Architectural Digest eyes, it is. However, Your Mama takes an entirely different view of Monsieur Lacroix's perfectly lived-in Parisian pied a terre. This is so very clearly not the apartment of a person who does up the day-core according to what is appropriate as determined by all dee-zine rag divas who get to decide that toile is the new tartan (which, of course, it is), but rather the very personal and quirky home of a man who does not give two centimes for what's considered "in style" interior design wise. Your Mama gives Monsieur Lacroix a standing ovation for listening to the music that plays in his own head and choosing to be surrounded by objects, artworks and furniture chosen for their personal meaning and inspiration and not for their vanity.

Monsieur Lacroix reportedly purchased and moved to another apartment nearby. Your Mama hopes and imagines his new digs will turn out every bit as personal as this one and we look forward to sipping some tea and fingering next seasons fabric swatches while curled up on that crazy-ass striped sofa that we'd sell our soul to the devil to own.

Your Mama Hears...

...From a gal we like to call Nelly Knowsitall that hi-tech tycoon Halsey Minor recently leased (with an option to buy) the seven-plus acre Singleton estate on Delfern Drive that was listed for sale in 2008 with a mind melting asking price of $85,000,000.

Your Mama wondered why that listing disappeared from the MLS.

Listing information from early 2008 shows the Wallace Neff designed house in the hoity toity Holmby Hills area of Los Angeles measures 15,520 square feet with 10 bedrooms, 12.5 bathrooms, rolling lawns, tennis court, swimming pool and massive motor court.

Miss Knowsitall also whispered in Your Mama's big ear that she hears the Minors have hired a much in the news Los Angeles based interior decorator to do up and do over the dated day-core.

If the children will put on their thinking caps they'll recall that Mister Minor has been trying to unload (at a loss) a troubled white elephant of a mansion on swanky Sarbonne Road in Bel Air that's currently on the market for $11,400,000.

UPDATE: Villa Leopolda

Poor rich Lily Safra.

The jet setting international socialite and mega-moneyed widow prefers to float well under the publicity radar of all the real estate gossips, but rumors and reports keep seeping out about Villa Leopolda, her legendarily high maintenance Belle Epoque estate on Villefrance on the Cote d'Azure that was widely whispered to have been sold last year to a big spending Russian billionaire for a knee buckling and heart stopping £392,000,000. That's 576,283,120 buckaroos to all us Americanos at today's rates, but back in August of 2008–before the global financial markets had a major meltdown–that figure converted to in excess of $730,000,000.

As it turns out, the palatial property was not sold. Or at least not according to a recent report in The Londoner's Diary. Your Mama isn't all that surprised to see this in print since both The Social Butterfly and Nelly Knowsitall, two of our better connected tipsters, told us ages ago that they'd heard on the hoity toity gossip grapevine they're privy to that all the brouhaha about a sale was just, well, brouhaha.

The reported £392,000,000 sale to Russian commodities tycoon Mikhail Prokhorov would have easily set a world record for the purchase price of a single family property. But alas...

Your Mama could certainly understand why Miz Safra, a ladee who knows how to marry well and whose fourth marriage was to Brazilian-naturalized Jewish Lebanese billionaire banker Edmund Safra who tragically perished in a highly suspicious conflagration of the couple's penthouse apartment in Monaco back in 1999, would want to unload this Villa Leopolda place. After all, she's no spring chicken anymore and it surely costs a small fortune and a few migraines each year to manage and pay the gardeners who maintain the gorgeously groomed 20 acre estate (who are oft reported to number 50 even though The Social Butterfly swears on her tiara it is a fraction of that), not to mention the serious doo-cats necessary to pay a full complement of house staff and team of scary security people, who are said to be armed and former members of the Israeli special forces.

The Gilded Lily, who cats around with swells like Prince Charles and that Camilla ladee he's married to and whose lavish lifestyle makes even the very rich look middle class, is also said to maintain posh properties in New York City, London, Monaco and Geneva.

Unless Miz Safra chooses to hand down the labor intensive property to one of her children, it's only a matter of time before Villa Leopolda sells to some billionaire or another whose looking for a trophy property they'll almost never use, but until then, it's pins and needles for all the folks like Your Mama who care about such frivolity as the fate of Miz Safra's celebrated estate.

A Little Floor Plan Porn For the Weekend

SELLER: Estate of Araxia M. Buckhantz
LOCATION: Fifth Avenue, New York, NY
PRICE: $30,000,000
SIZE: 2 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama needs to interrupt our fine and lovely weekend in order to bring the hungry children some serious New York City floor plan porn. The highly anticipated listing for a full floor unit at the posh (and restrictive) building at 834 Fifth Avenue has hit the internets with an expected but still breath taking asking price of $30,000,000...for a two bedroom apartment with monthly maintenance charges of $9,538 according to listing information.

The 13th floor unit is offered for sale by the estate of the fabulously named Araxia M. Buckhantz,. Although Your Mama would like to offer the children all kinds of biographical details about Miz Buckhantz, a cursory search of the internets turns up very little 411 other than that she's the cuzzin of monocled "playboy oil magnate Nubar Gubkian" and that she passed on to the big oil man in the sky in the fall of 2008 at the ripe old age of 101.

The floor plan shows the sprawling 2 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom co-operative apartment has one private elevator landing, 12 rooms, four exposures (north, south, east and west), four fireplaces, 12 foot ceilings, two or three terraces depending how one counts, at least 11 closets including four walk-ins and one cedar lined walk-in, and a staff suite located, natch, behind the kitchen that includes three prison cell sized bedrooms that share a single bathroom and a small servants hall where the live-ins surely kicked off their shoes and gossiped about and mocked the mistress of the house and all her filthy rich friends. That's right. All you rich folks are just fooling yerselves iffin you think your staff ain't talking shit behind your couture and bespoke suit clad backs.

A 27-foot long entrance gallery leads to a 37-foot long living room which listing information indicates features pulchritudinous paneling from the George III period and access to a narrow terrace that positively hangs over Fifth Avenue and Central Park. A solarium–a somewhat silly architectural folly Your Mama finds is typically reserved for the unusually rich–sits adjacent to and beyond the living room and a guest terlit that offers visitors a soo-blime Central Park view while they do their dirty bizness.

Listing information indicates the library is wrapped in 18th century George II pine (whatever that is) and the dining room, with French doors leading to two terraces, is "castle-like" which Your Mama thinks could either be really good or a complete decorative disaster. The kitchen, which may or may not be renovated and/or up to date, is large enough to eat in (as if people this rich eat in the kitchen) and can be accessed either through a closet lined hallway off the entrance gallery or through the large, windowed butler's pantry adjacent to the dining room.

Each of the two bedrooms have large and private poopers, as they better have for thirty million clams, okay?

Current residents of the obscenely uppity Rosario Candela designed building include Alfred Taubman, the owner of the Sotheby's auction house that recently did a little time in the big house, Harry Crosby, the fifth son of Bing, billionaire banker Mark Rachesky and his wifey Jill who prop records reveal paid $33,444,500 for their dee-luxe doo-plex digs in October of 2007, legendary Broadway producer Harold Prince, and former CEO of Salomon Brothers John Gutfreund whose wifey Susan once famously, pompously and dare we say wisely said, "It's very expensive to be rich." Well, indeed it is Missus Gutfreund.

Other past (or perhaps present) residents of 834 are said to include Charles Schwab, Elizabeth Arden, Leslie Wexner, John DeLorean, Robert (Woody) Johnson IV, and Loida Nicolas-Lewis, widow of food and grocery tycoon Reginald Lewis who were the first–and as far as we know the only–people of color (he was African American, she Filipino-born) to live up with the otherwise very pale-skinned residents of 834.

However, perhaps the king of the money mountain at 834 is the multi-billionaire media mogul who owns the tremendous triplex penthouse in which Laurance Rockefeller resided for some 50 years. Prop records and multiple reports from the time show that back in 2005, Mister Rupert Murdoch and his much younger wifey Wendi Deng scooped up the triplex building topper for a stomach churning, teeth chattering, bone chilling and, at the time, record setting $44,000,000. The couple then proceeded to give the three floor and multi- terraced aerie a massive makeover which reportedly includes a home gym with construction costs estimated at $400,000.

All the New York City real estate gossips with surely be burning up the phone lines and chomping at the bit to get the inside scoop on who tours at the high priced pad and, of course, which mega-moneyed magnate will pass muster with the notoriously persnickety board.

A Couple of Producers List Design-y House in L.A.

SELLERS: Gabrielle Stanton and Harry Werksman
LOCATION: Hillside Ave, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,880,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...Includes: large LR, DR & entry hall, kitchen, den/media room & master BR w/ dressing room & custom bath (including Bisazza soaking tub, custom-made dual faucet Corian sink, Porcher toilets & Phillipe Starck fixtures). Lower level guest BR & enormous bonus room perfect for home office/creative space. Covered patio & rear yard. Large garage w/ direct access, 3 fireplaces & new systems throughout.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Listen children, although all sorts of unconfirmed whispers and rumors are floating down the gossip grapevine about famous folks fixin' to move house, today is a bit slow on the celebrity real estate scene so today we're gonna discuss a couple of Emmy nominated tee-vee writer/producers named Harry Werksman and Gabrielle Stanton who recently put their Regency style residence in the foothills above Hollywood Boulevard on the market with an asking price of $1,880,000.

We know most of you haven't a clue who these people are, but iffin y'all will simmer down and quitcher bitching Your Mama will tell you. Mister Werksman and Miz Stanton, partners in both work and life, have extensive credits on award winning programs such as that tired Grey's Anatomy program, Ugly Betty and, most recently, a short lived vampire detective drama called Moonlight which Your Mama has neither seen nor heard of.

Back in August of 2002, about the time the boob-toob power pair's tee-vee project The Invisible Man was wrapping up, property records show they forked over $700,000 to purchase their house on Hillside Avenue. We're sure some of the snootier Angelenos will bristle and gripe about the too close to Hollywood not close enough to Bev Hills location, but Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter rather like a property near rugged Runyan Canyon where we like to walk our exercise bodied bitches Linda and Beverly side by side with all the heaps and hordes of show bizzers who walk their pooches and work their glutes on the canyon trails.

According to information we received from a gal we'll call Jean Pool, the Werksman/Stanton house was a dump when it was purchased and clearly Miz Stanton and Mister Werksman–with, according to listing information, the assistance of the folks at the Fitzsu Society–spent boo-coo bucks giving the place a full face lift and do over in a Dorothy Draper-ish Hollywood Regency style that has been re-jiggered (and some say copied) by hot shot decorator Kelly Wearstler.

Listing information and prop records reveal the house measures 3,283 square feet with three bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. In addition to the entry way with its high ceiling, shiny lime stone looking floor, vintage 1970s chandelier and luscious Lucite side table, a large formal living room with beige shag wall to wall carpeting has been a little too minimally furnished by the Fitzsu folks with two clean lined beige ultra-suede sofas facing each other with a couple of squat coffee tables from Ikea in between and a stainless steel and glass étagère for displaying knick-knacks and doo-dads has been situated to the side one of the homes three fireplaces.

The dining room, also done up in a minimal manner, features a wall of (not quite centered) glass sliders, pretty tree top views and all kinds of translucent furnishings includes a Lucite legged dining table and a couple of Phillipe Starck Louis Ghost Chairs which are only visible to children with 20/20 vision. The barely there day-core is completed by an atom-inspired chandelier that has been hung too high and is coveted by Your Mama, and a graphic black and white Japanese anime-like Panda painting which creates a well played visual tension with the Lucite legged dining room chair that have been upholstered with mis-matched and wildly colored Pucci-like fabric.

A small room that looks like a minimalists take on a library has been simply outfitted with a few free standing and well stocked book shelves, an orange ombré area rug and a classic, always appreciated by Your Mama Mies van der Rohe Barcelona chair and ottoman. With its louche sectional sofas and built in wood book shelves, the den/media room offers a cozy spot to tuck in for the evening with a stack of all the latest gossip glossies and a giant gin and tonic or to view the fabulously tacky and childish antics of The Real Housewives of Orange County, one of Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's favorite reality tee-vee guilty pleasures.

The uber femme master bedroom has been worked over–and, quite frankly, a little over-worked–with wall to wall lavendar shag carpeting and a large print floral wallpaper behind the bed that probably looked au courant when it was installed but now looks a little dated design wise. Nothing a nice gay decorator can't fix in the twinkle of an eye. All the clothes horses will appreciate the full wall of floor to ceiling closets with frosed glass sliding doors which give the clothes a ghostlike appearance that would surely scare the skin off Your Mama in a half-asleep booze haze in the middle of the night. The frosted glass closet door treatment has also been applied to the large boo-teek like dressing room with its large lavender shag area rug, crystal chandelier, and yellow tufted stools that look too damn short for a fat ass like Your Mama to sit on comfortably.

We recognize the highly stylized master bathroom will not be to everyone's taste and it's absolutely not one that Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would want in our home, however, we gives the couple credit for boldly and fearlessly going right over the interior design top with the funky juxtaposition of a hyper-modern glass box of a shower, dusty pink vanity table with ornate gold pulls, and glittery nickel and crystal sconces flanking the make-up mirror. The yellow tufted stool and blue and lavendar glass decanters are just icing on a shamelessly decadant decorative cake an an intricately patterned gold and white wallpaper surrounding the Bisazza tile soaking tub jumps up the glamour quotient to am über-luxe but almost unbearable level. With all that square footage devoted to the master bathroom, we'd have preferred the posh Porcher brand pooper be placed in a more private spot.

According to listing information, the lower level includes a guest bedroom and bathroom, a location which pretty much ensures the homeowner will not have to listen to their guests fight, fornicate and/or defacate. A large bonus room on the lower level can be used for a home office/creative space or perhaps a dungeon for the S/M inclined.

The outdoor space appears to be limited to a deck at the rear of the house and a sliver of land that aspires to, but pretty much fails, at being a backyard.

Although we don't know why Miz Stanton and Mister Werksman would want to sell after spending much time and money birthing their re-done residential baby, but if we've said it once, we've said it four hundred thousand times, the fickle real estate workings of the rich (and famous) are well beyond our comprehension.

Nick Turturro Lists House in Tarzana

SELLER: Nick Turturro
LOCATION: Beckford Avenue, Tarzana, CA
PRICE: $1,250,000
SIZE: 4,007 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: ...This warm and inviting residence has been beautifully updated, featuring gleaming hardwood floors, spacious living room with romantic fireplace, over sized family room and chef's kitchen with side/side SubZeros, massive center island, loads of storage and sunny attached breakfast room. The oversize family room features stunning French doors that lead you to the spectacular park-like grounds with sports court, sprawling manicured lawns and entertainers patio highlighted by wood ceilings, stone pillars and Saltillo tiled floors...

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: A couple of weeks ago we heard from our ever intrepid and prolific tipster Chris Coe who pointed Your Mama's beady little celebrity real estate eyeballs towards a well maintained but very non-descript house in hot as Hades Tarzana, CA that is owned by actor Nick Turturro and listed for sale with an asking price of $1,250,000.

Mister Turturro is, of course, part of the famous acting Turturro clan that includes kooky and quirky brother John Turturro (O Brother, Where Art Thou?, The Big Lebowski, Barton Fink and etc.) and cuzzin Aida Turturro who for years worked her stuff on The Sopranos. In addition to being a dedicated stage actor, Nick Turturro is probaby best recognized by the children for his long time role on the now defunct NYPD Blue back in the 1990s but may soon have a higher profile due to the six projects his resume shows he has in the hopper for 2009.

Property records show Mister Turturro purchased his Tarzana digs in December of 2002 for $775,000. Listing information shows brick red residence on Beckford Avenue measures 4,007 square feet and includes 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms plus a separate guest studio with three-quarter bathroom. Property records, however, show the big but perfectly banal suburban house sits on a .56 acre lot and has 4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. We don't have any idea why the discrepancy in bedroom and bathroom counts.

The large living room includes glossy wood floors, a gas and wood burning fireplace and a smattering of furniture that looks to Your Mama like it was picked up at the local Goodwill. Although the rug is far too small for the room and placed in an entirely haphazard fashion, the deep red color looks good against the dusty celadon walls and, even more importantly, we think it would look dee-voon in Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter's guest room.

The celadon wall paint continues into the room that does triple duty as the dining room, stair hall and library. While in theory we are not opposed to multi-purpose rooms this one makes us feel uncomfortable. Do not even get Your Mama started on that ass uglee chandelier which has been hung way, way too high or those wacky wind chimes hung next to the book case. Wind chimes? Indoors?

While decent sized with what appears to be both gas and electric cook tops, can't the children hear the kitchen quietly begging for a face lift? The adjacent breakfast area may be a good spot for keeping an eye on the kiddies as they chow down a microwaved dinner of fish sticks and mac and cheese, but we can't help but note the rug beneath the table is simply too small.

Apparently Mister Turturro got a good deal on that dusty celadon paint because the family room has also, unwisely, been painted that color. Again we see just a smattering of furniture, in this case caca-colored leather things with no end or coffee tables for setting down drinks and snacks, and yet another rug that is simply too small for the room. Some sort of light fixture hangs in the middle of the ceiling and looks poised to brain anyone who dares walk under it. We'll allow that the row of French doors is nice.

The master bedroom includes a peaked ceiling and French doors opening to a private terrace. While this is not a bad space, we're just flummoxed and flabbergasted to see another rug that is too damn small for the room. We realize that Mister Turturro many not care very much about day-core, but we'd still recommend he get in touch with a nice gay decorator who can school him on how to fit rugs into rooms and at what height to hang chandeliers. These things may seem trivial, but they can really affect the way a room feels, and the way a room feels in turn affects the way people feel in it. You know what we're sayin'?

The outdoors spaces include a large covered patio with a wood ceiling and Saltillo tile floor. While Your Mama is definitely not down with the Home Despot-ish patio furniture selections, we do think a deft hand could do up this space as a fantastic outdoor living and dining room that stays cool remarkably cool during the blistering San Fernando Valley summer months. In addition to a large lawn area, a sport court has been installed behind the detached two car garage. Your Mama does not have any problem with sport courts other than that we'd much prefer a swimming pool than a basketball court...but that's us. We recognize others might feel differently.

Of course we have no idea where Mister Turturro plans to move once this house sells, but we do hope he'll ring Your Mama for a long list of nice gay decorators who can pull his next home together in a manner more befitting a man of his stature.

More Mish Mash

Listen puppies, Your Mama hates to throw the mish-mash down twice in one week, but we still have a few nuggets and morsels that we need to get out of our inbox and off our voice mail.

1.
First things first children, so let's all grab a snack and board the Britney Spears real estate crazy train right away this morning and get it over with. Two days ago it was widely rumored and reported that back in the saddle pop star Britney Spears is decamping from her home in a gated community above Beverly Hills called The Summit, CA to another gated community out in Calabasas, CA called The Oaks. These developers are just so dang clever and creative with their community names, aren't they?

Anyhoo, all gossip and rumor arrows pointed to Miz Spears (and presumably her daddy/conservator Jamie) fixin' to move into anewly built mansion called Chateau Suenos, which is a silly Franco-Spanish way of saying House of Dreams.

The 10,300+ square foot French Provincial/Tuscan Farmhouse/Spanish Hacienda style sprawler occupies a large raised lot in The Estates section of The Oaks, which for those of the children not familiar with The Oaks (and why would you be?) is essentially a gated community within a gated community. That means iffin any of you freako fans manage to get yer Saturns and Hyundais past the first set of (guarded) gates you'll quickly be thwarted by another set of gates designed to keep your peeping asses out of The Estates where other big name music types like Brad Wilk and Travis Barker also live.

Since our little discussion two days ago the ex-Mrs. Federline confirmed via a Twitter entry on her official blog that she took her two pop tots to see their new house, that they, "Loved it," and that she, "Can't wait to move in." So there you have it right from the horses mouth, or at least the horse's Twitter account.

As we mentioned in our previous discussion, in addition to being offered for sale at $8,990,000, Chateau Suenos was also available for lease at $19,000 per month, which is more than some people make in a year, but pocket change to a gal like Britney who apparently has more money to spend on her fickle real estate whims than she knows what to do with.

New reports say that the singing and dancing cash cow is leasing Chateau Suenos while she builds another house of her dreams nearby.

2.
We can all breathe a heavy sigh of relief because according to an AP report in the Southern Ledger American Idol winner and 8-time Grammy nominated singer Fantasia Barrino will not lose her big ol' house in Charlotte, NC down the slippery slope of foreclosure

Phew! Your Mama knows y'all were on pins and needles about that.

2.
Boxing's weirdest and most outspoken promoter Don King has recently listed his Manalapan, FL compound for sale with an asking price of $27,500,000. Property records and reports show that Mister King and his wifey Henrietta purchased the two properties in 1999 for a total of $14,300,000.

The nearly three acre compound stretches from the Atlantic Ocean to the Intracoastal Waterway and includes two adjacent mansions, one which he used as is private residence and another that he used as a guest house. The Mediterranean style main house is reported to have seven bedrooms, nine bathrooms, garaging for three cars, a swimming pool and a courtyard with a bridge over a goldfish pond. The guest house is reported to have four bedrooms, nine bathrooms, a second swimming pool and a damn ice cream parlor. The children will note that Mister King's kompound has at least 18 terlits, which means considerable expense will be incurred by the owner having a gurl who does nuthin' but scrub terlits day in and day out.

The properties include two docks for yachts on the Intracoastal Waterway and a long stretch of sugar sand beach on the Atlantic that is accessed via a retractable staircase. Fancy.

Mister King, who made mountains of money promoting fights for folks like Muhammad Ali and that poor, got banged in the head one too many times Mike Tyson, told the folks at The Wall Street Journal that his decision to sell is not financially motivated but because at 77 years old, "walking from house to house has become inconvenient" and that he's going to "going to move to wherever I can find a nice little cozy, $10-to-$5-million house."

Reports and property records show Mister King also owns a couple of casas in Las Vegas, NV, an 80-acre training camp in Cleveland, OH and another training camp in Fort Pierce, FL.

3.
Ugly Betty brace face America Ferrera has recently listed the Los Angeles house she purchased last year just before she received word that production for her hit boob-toob program was shifting to New York City.

Records and reports show that Miss Ferrera, who of course does not have a mouthful of metal in real life, scooped up the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom house on Rodgerton Drive in the Beachwood Canyon area in April of 2008 for $1,415,000. It's unclear to Your Mama whether Miss Ferrera ever occupied the house or not.

Listing information indicates the 3,523 square foot house is fully wired for sound and includes a fiberglass swimming pool and spa wedged into the small back yard, a huge two car garage and a master suite with private terrace and adjacent office space.

Your Mama would like to note that Miss Ferrera rather wisely painted over the pukey mural that was painted on the wall behind the swimming pool when she bought the house. Although we can not confirm it, this appears to be the only change that was made to the property.

Listing information reveals the house is currently listed at $1,685,000, a number our bejeweled abacus shows is $270,000 more than she paid for the property just nine months ago. We're certain some of the children will have something to say about that.

4.
Hedge fund scoundrel Bernard Madoff may not be a celebrity in the ordinary sense of the word but (allegedly) bilking friends and family out of $50,000,000,000 sorta puts him in the category of infamy, don't it?

It's now being revealed that Mister Madoff and his wife, who prop records show own and maintain a number of posh properties including an apartment on E. 64th Street New York City, a 5 bedroom and 7 bathroom house on N. Lake Way in Palm Beach, FL and an ocean front house on Old Montauk Highway in Montauk, NY, also own a modest hideaway in the South of France they reportedly purchased six or seven years ago.

According to a report on Bloomberg.com, the Madoff's South of France vacation getaway is a small apartment located in the international jet-setter hot spot of Cap d'Antibes. Located in the Chateau des Pins development, the 1,300 square foot unit on the second floor of a white villa with a terra cotta tile roof reportedly includes just 3 bedrooms and overlooks the tennis courts and swimming pools of larger and more expensive homes down the slope and closer to the water.

Mister Madoff, who reportedly owns a large private plane that he owns, conveniently parks his appropriately named boat Bull just down the hill in the super swank harbor at Juan les Pins where some of the largest boats afloat dock when not being used by their billionaire owners.