San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom Moving On

SELLER: Gavin Newsom
LOCATION: Green Street, San Francisco, CA
PRICE : $2,995,000
SIZE: 1,693 square feet, 1 bedroom and 1.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: This 1-of-a-kind Russian Hill Penthouse is located in a prestigious full service doorman building, Bellaire Tower, an amazing Art Deco style building designed by noted architect BAUMANN, H.C. This residence was completely remodeled & stripped to the studs & designed by Michael Agins & Assoc. Interior Design firm in SF. This spectacular residence offers the best landmark Vus SF has to offer including 3 Bridges & water VUS from all rms. In unit lry, wired for surround sound, strge, pkg & rf dk.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: All morning long we've been receiving email after email after email from real estate obsessed San Franciscans directing Your Mama to a myriad of reports that reveal the fetching and slick haired mayor of San Francisco Gavin Newsom recently plunked his Russian Hill penthouse on the market with an asking price of $2,995,000.

The smooth talking and socially progressive Mister Newsom became a political super star in 2004 when he took the controversial step of allowing marriage licenses to be issued for gay guys and lesbian ladees. We all know what's become of that. Can the children say Proposition 8? However, he of the glittering and perfect chompers recently tossed his hot potato carrying hat into the ring to become the next governor of California. Lefty liberal Mister Newsom sitting up in the governer's chair in Sacramento is a scenario that no doubt scares the beejeezis out of homophobes all up and down the great Golden State who imagine that if homos and lezzies are allowed to get married the institution of marriage would somehow be compromised. Pleeze. That is just stoopid. Married heterosexual people seem to do a fine job of screwing up their marriages without any help from the gays and lesbians. None the less, we are not here to get all frothed up on our soap box so let's just move on to the real estate. (And p.s., homosexual bashing comments will be removed so spare yourself the effort.)

A peep into the records on Property Shark shows the entrepreneurial Mister Newsom snatched up his 1,693 square foot unit in February of 2006 when he paid family friend Peter Getty–brother of Mister Newsom's former bizness benefactor and boozum buddy Billy Getty–$2,350,000 for the 1 bedroom and 1.5 bathroom Green Street aerie.

The Newsom nest is located on the 20th floor of the beautiful Bellaire Tower, an Art Deco extravaganza built in 1930 and has wrap around views that stretch from the gorgeous Golden Gate Bridge, across to Marin County, over downtown and the TransAmerica Pyramid and all the way down to the hard working Bay Bridge.

An ride up the elegant elevator leads to the front door which opens to an entrance hall and an adjacent powder pooper for guests. The apartment pivots around a sizable central living room which has a wood burning fireplace, arched windows that frame the views and a brown and beige day-core done by a nice gay and local decorator named Michael Algin that is part Jonathan Adler and part Rose Tarlow. Okay, truth be told, we don't actually know if he's gay so lay off.

Anyhoo, to the left of the living room is a media room with more brown and white day-core, a dee-voonly cozy looking chocolate brown velvet sofa, and a giant flat screen tee-vee for catching up on all the reality programs Your Mama would bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly are one of Mister Newsom's many guilty pleasures. Behind the media room is a slightly too narrow dining room with Palladian windows, dark chocolate brown walls and a huge abstract painting that is, quite frankly, to much of the same brown and white color as the rest of the room (and apartment). Like in the living room, where an orange color field painting has been hung above the fireplace, it is our humble and meaningless opinion that something more colorful would really help the dining room from looking, well, a little bit dead. Plus we don't like the lack of a chandelier in here. We assume a pendant fixture was nixed in order to keep sight lines of the big views clutter free, but we really like a chandelier in the dining room.

The gore-may kitchen is bathed in Calcutta marble counter tops atop white cabinets, brown paint, and includes an expensive suite of stainless steel appliances including Viking brand range and microwave, SubZero refrigerator/freezer and a Marvel wine cooler and beverage refrigerator. The trio of arched niches for displaying stemware and booze are far too decoratively gimmicky for our personal taste. According to the floor plan, a door leads to the service hallway and a large pantry and laundry room is tucked away off the kitchen.

On the right side of the living room is a beige library/den with both arched and Palladian style windows, another velvet sofa and a collection of books that all appear to have similar bindings which makes them really more about impressing guests than about reading. Beyond the library is the brown and beige bedroom which offers a giant walk in closet with marble counters, custom built-in, drawers, wall mirror and laundry hamper. The bathroom is painted a pewtery sort of beige with grey veined marble on the floor, half way up the walls, on the counter top and in the steam shower where we can imagine Mister Newsom sweats out the toxins from City Hall.

By any estimation, nearly three million clams for a 1 bedroom apartment in San Francisco is a screaming amount of money. However, listings in the very desirable 65-unit Bellaire Tower are exceedingly rare which, of course, tends to keep prices through the roof even in a lackluster economy. The people at Property Shark show that between February of 2006 and June of 2008 not a single apartment transferred ownership and since 2000 and in fact only 10 units have changed hands since July of 2000. Monthly maintenance charges are $1,414.73 and all that moolah pays for the water and garbage services, the 24-hour doorman, building insurance, earthquake insurance, steam heating, storage, care of the common areas including the roof garden and valet parking, because who wants to park their own damn car if they don't have to?

Given that Mister Newsom and his ack-turuss wifey Jennifer Siebel Newsom are with baby, we imagine their next residence will be a bit more family friendly, no less impressive and, we hope, less brown and beige than their soon to be ex-penthouse.

Gwyneth Paltrow Has Rats?

RENTER: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
LOCATION: Mandeville Canyon Road, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: We have no idea
SIZE: 5,706 square feet, 8 bedrooms and 8.5 bathrooms total
DESCRIPTION: Classic architect designed Monterey Colonial on 5+ park like acres. A true gentlemen's Country Ranch Estate in town that is gated and completely private. Main house entry w/ curved staircase opens to spacious liv rm, paneled pub/game rm. Galleria opens to patio & gazebo. Din rm w/ butler pantry & Jr. Din rm off gourmet kt w/ break area. Master suite w/ FP down & 4 beds up. Pool, sp, guesthouse, tennis court, 6 stall barn, rm for riding ring, foaling barn/GH, spectacular playground & meadows.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Over the weekend Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter went hiking in Mandeville Canyon with Sister Cooter and her pal H.R. Huffandpuff. As we we screaming down Sunset Boulevard in Sister Cooter's overheated Saab sedan on our way trail head, H.R. asked Your Mama what dish we knew about all the recent reports that wishes she were British Oscar winning actress Gywneth Paltrow was having a problem with rats in her L.A. home.

Well children, we are not embarrassed to tell y'all that we knew nothing. Not. A. Thing. At least not about this rat bizness.

When we arrived home, legs exhausted and a-trembling from exertion, we took to the internets where we read that poor Miss Paltrow recently rang up the pest control people after she discovered her new (leased) Los Angeles residence was swarming with the vermin. Vermin! The article went on to say that the rat-infested residence is a luxury apartment near where her soo-blime mother Blythe Danner shacks up. (As far as we know, and of course we don't know nuthin', Mizz Danner lives in an ocean view condominium in Santa Monica.)

This mention of an apartment sorta didn't make sense to Your Mama because, according to Glinda the Good Witch, a gal with her finger on the pulse of current celebrity real estate doings, Miss Paltrow and her rock star huzband Chris Martin recently leased an impressive and sprawling estate in the Mandeville Canyon area of Brentwood that was on the market earlier this year for a knee knocking $28,500,000 and is most definitely not an apartment.

Property records show the 5.3 acre estate sits on multiple parcels with a main house that measures 5,706 square feet (it seems bigger to Your Mama). Listing information shows that between the Monterey Colonial style main house and the guest house there are a total of 8 bedrooms and 8.5 bathrooms which should be just about enough space for the family and their retinue of of nannies, macrobiotic chefs, yoga instructors, exercise gurus and ass wipers.

According to listing information the main house features four fireplaces and includes a curving staircase in the entrance hall that opens to the living room, a formal dining room and a junior dining room (whatever that is), a gore-may kitchen with yet another dining area, an office, paneled pub/game room, family room, library/study, loft and lanai.

Outdoor amenities on the celebrity style estate include a tremendous terrace where Gwyny and Madge will have plenty of space to contort their bodies during sunrise yoga sessions, a swimming pool and spa surrounded by a big brick terrace, a properly oriented north/south tennis court, parking for a dozen or more automobiles, a 6 stall horse barn, meadows for pony rides, one of those over sized chess games boards on the back lawn, a play ground and a play house for Miss Paltrow and Mister Martin's oddly named offspring.

Now children, we do not know if this is the rat infested property about which has been reported or if the Paltrow/Martin clan were bedding down in a different rat-infested residence prior to moving to their temporary Mandeville Canyon crib where they're planning to stay a few months while Miss Paltrow gets paid big bucks film the action sequel to Iron Man 2.

Miss Paltrow and Mister Martin live primarily in London where they are reported to own two adjacent townhouses in the Belsize Park area (how very Madonna of them). Stateside, the outrageously rich and successful couple own 3,892 square foot penthouse apartment at the River Lofts building in New York City as well as a 6,800 square foot spread on Old Montauk Highway in Amagansett, NY (which is the Hamptons, dahlinks).

Jeff Lewis Is Back In The Saddle...Sort Of

Ever since the bottom fell out of the house flipping market in Los Angeles–and make no mistake my chickens, the bottom fell out of the house flipping market–obsessive/compulsive reality tee-vee star and serial renovator/flipper Jeff Lewis has flown largely under the radar.

Yes, Miss Lewis did manage to get a good price for a 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom house on N. Edgemont Drive which was listed at $1,395,000 and sold in early January of 2009 for $1,300,000 to a couple of Asian ladees. However, keep in mind that the extremely tightly wound developer paid a million bucks for the property in June of 2008 and probably spent a couple hundred grand in carrying costs, doing up the interiors and putting in a swimming pool. So, by our crude and meaningless estimations, after he paid the fat real estate fees Miss Lewis would have had barely enough left over to keep Zoila and Jenni paid let alone keep his cat in therapy.

Anyhoo, in May of 2008, Miss Lewis and his overly coiffured ex-beau and current bizness partner Ryan Brown listed a house on Valley Oak Drive with an asking price of $3,195,000. They had a devil of a time getting someone to buy the house and eventually, by late July, the asking price had been chop chop chopped down to $2,595,000. Shortly thereafter the house was marked "Looking for Backup" in the MLS and Your Mama breathed a sigh of relief that those high-larious Flipping Out freaks managed to get out of that property by the skin of their well maintained teeth.

But alas...apparently that deal did not go through because Miss Lewis is back riding the real estate rodeo and just yesterday the property appeared back on the open market with an asking price of $2,695,000.

It is our understanding from someone who will remain nameless that Miss Lewis has been shacking up in the house and will need to find a new place to live when someone finally signs on the dotted line for the 3 bedroom and 3.5 bathroom residence.

As a quick recap...records reveal that in addition to the house on N. Edgemont, Misters Lewis and Brown sold a house on Ben Lomond Place in April of 2008 for $1,250,000 (which was first listed at $1,525,000) and in May of 2008 they sold a house on N. Commonwealth Avenue to Lost actor Dominic Monaghan for $1,595,000 after being listed with an asking price of $1,795,000. Prior to that, back in 2007, records show the dysfunctional duo sold a big house on Nottingham Avenue for $4,350,000.

But what we really want to know, is when will Miss Lewis be back on the boob-toob because we love that queen's antics almost as much as we love all those tawdry bee-hawtchas on The Real Life Housewives of New York City, Orange County, Atlanta and now those tough talking beasts in New Jersey.

From Corea to Keener/Mulroney to Moore to...

SELLERS: Estate of LeRoi Moore (at least we're pretty sure that's who it is)
LOCATION: Linwood Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $3,199,000
SIZE: 4,866 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Grand Laughlin Park 1930s estate of exquisite craftsmanship & detail. This unique estate has 4 br 2 ba plus 2 sep gst homes, a prvt courtyard entry to main foyer, voluminous rooms or rich wood floors, walls & ceilings leaded sanctuary style windows, Bo trussed ceilings of gallery proportions & leaded glass French doors leading to spectacular stone loggia. Over 18,000sf lushly landscaped grounds w/ a beautiful pool. Systems have been upgraded including state-of-the-art security control system.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Bear with us babies, because this one is a wee bit confusing.

As we were perusing the listings in the Los Feliz area of Los Angeles recently, our beady little eyes settled on a bit of residential lovliness in the celeb-packed and gated community of Laughlin Park currently listed at $3,199,000. Property records were confusing, so we got on the horn with the always happily helpful Lucy Spillerguts who confirmed that the property was formerly owned by bizzy actor Dermot Mulroney (Georgia Rule, The Family Stone, Must Love Dogs and etc.) who lived here with his ex-wifey, the soo-blime Oscar nominated silver screener Catherine Keener (Hamlet 2, Capote, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Being John Malkovich and etc.).

Property records reveal the former marrieds paid $1,325,000 in April of 1997 when they purchased the dignified Linwood Drive digs from Grammy winning musician and big time Scientologist Chick Corea. Records also show that in October of 2005, before the once happy couple went splitsville, the mini-estate was sold to an entity linked to a charitable organization in North Carolina that belongs to Grammy winning singer/songwriter Dave Matthews. The children will please note Your Mama's consternation and furrowed brow over that unexpected bit of information. However, after a bit more digging around on the interweb, Your Mama feels confident (if not 100% sure) that the house on Linwood Drive is not owned by Mister Matthews but rather by his recently passed saxophonist LeRoi Moore who went to meet his maker in August of 2008 from complications resulting from an freak ATV accident.

Publicity courting love them and leave them musician John Mayer also has some connection to this property according to Miz Spillerguts. But if we're being honest, and we always are, we don't know what his connection might be particularly considering that he owns a modest house in Pacific Palisades and, according to Glinda the Good Witch (and others), is temporarily shacking up in a humongous house in Hidden Hills while he records his next album.

Anyhoo, records shows the house in question was built in the mid-1930s and measures 4,866 square feet with 4 bedrooms and just 2 poopers. Now children, neither Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter nor our imperious house gurl Svetlana are fans of having half a dozen terlits peppered throughout the house. However, we strongly believe that a residence of this size should have at least two point five if not 3.5 bathrooms even though there are, according to listing information, two dee-lishus and detached guest houses on the .42 acre property each, presumably, with their own private pooper.

A brick courtyard at the front of the walled and gated property leads to the entrance which is set into an imposing wall of what appears to be rough hewn and stacked granite slabs. The entrance hall has wood floors, high ceilings and carefully cared for woodwork that include several display niches and a carved staircase.

The long and elegantly proportioned living room focuses on a baronial fireplace and the raised paneling on the walls is wrapped over the peaked and beamed ceiling from which a couple of swoon worthy vintage chandeliers hang. Listing information says the ceiling is "bo trussed" which we think means buttressed, but we're not sure.

A round room with a soaring wood ceiling currently holds an ass-uglee curving leather and wood sofa and what we think is sound recording equipment. We would not stake anything valuable on it, but we think this room may have been originally intended as the dining room. Or maybe it was a den. Or a library. Oh hell, we don't know.

A family room with leaded glass windows lies beyond the living room and the kitchen complex includes a heavenly butler's pantry with wonderfully restored original cabinetry, updated marble counter tops and an almost indestructible stainless steel sink. The kitchen proper has more marble counter tops and an island with a mack-daddy Wolf brand range over which has been hung the largest and most threatening looking pot rack Your Mama has ever seen outside of a commercial kitchen.

A wide brick terrace stretches the length of the rear facade and overlooks the simple, rectangular shaped swimming pool which has been sunk directly into the lawn with a simple stone border. The two above mentioned guesthouses ensure the homeowner will not be subject to the grotesque sounds and odors of fornication and defecation created by over night guests.

According the listing information, the property is currently under offer and we'd bet our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly that the house will be sold to another celebrity...or at least it should be sold to someone high profile since the house has only known famous inhabitants for decades and it seems a shame not to continue in that vein.

We don't have a clue as to where Miz Keener decamped, but according to Miz Spillerguts, Mister Mulroney also owns a house on 6th Street in Santa Monica, so perhaps that's where he's shacking up with his baby momma Tharita Catulle whose name Your Mama dare not say out loud because we do not, unfortunately, speak the I-talian.

Tim Gunn Takes the A Train

BUYER: Tim Gunn
LOCATION: West 90th Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $1,500,000
SIZE: 1,765 square feet (approx.), 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: This triple mine 1,765+ sqa ft 2br/2.5 bath condo with a 527 sq ft terrace feels like a private home in the sky yet it is in a full service bldg with a gym on the Upper West Side. This apt is a bright corner duplex with 3 exposures, a separate windowed dining room that has a Sub-Zero wine cooler and a wet bar, a top-of-the-line windowed kitchen with a granite counter that has seating and floor to ceiling windowns in the spacious corner living room and both bedrooms.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Model slash baby factory Heidi Klum may be the hostess of the reality tee-vee program Project Runway, but the show's real star is the prissy, prim and dee-lightfully proper Tim Gunn. Your Mama confesses that we have a sweet spot in our cold and dark heart for Mister Gunn because not only do we love his mincing ways on the boob-toob but also because Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter used to live in the very same New York City building as Mister Gunn and would frequently find him in clogs (yes, children, clogs) and a perfectly pressed white t-shirt placidly gliding up and down the funky aisles of the grungy grocery store located on the ground floor of the building. We found him to be oddly entrancing in that he never looked left or right, just straight ahead, perhaps uncomfortable with his new found fame and just a little bit concerned he might be spotted and outed in an article on Page Six about buying up a couple of Lean Cuisines for dinner.

Anyhoo, according to Miz Keil who now pens the Gimme Shelter column for the NY Post–and confirmed with property records–Mister Gunn has moved out of his West 24th Street rental and to the Upper West Side where he recently forked over $1,500,000 for a doo-plex condo apartment on West 90th Street.

According to listing information the two-floor, 2 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom unit has approximately 1,765 square feet of interior space and a heavenly 527 square feet of outdoor space. The front door opens to a small entrance hall which leads directly into the dining room which is, of course not optimal but also not so terribly unusual in smaller New York City apartments. The dining room includes a wet bar with SubZero fridge so Mister Gunn's dinner guests can get liquored up before, during and after dinner. An adjacent guest terlit does double duty as the laundry room and opens directly into the dining room, a potentially disastrous set up for obvious reasons.

At the opposite end of the apartment from the dining room is a corner living room with gigantic floor to ceiling windows, wood floors and custom built cabintry fitted for the flat screen tee-vee. In between the living and dining rooms sits the unfortunately countrified kitchen with white cabinets, wood floors, sand colored granite counter tops and one of those horrid Fisher & Paykel double drawer dishwashers. Those things might be expensive, trendy and perhaps even energy efficient but it is Your Mama's personal experience with the contraption that they are also unrealiable and too small for washing oversized dishes. In fact, this coming Monday a muscular man named Juan is coming by to swap out the not-functioning Fisher & Paykel dishwashing lemon in our kitchen for another, hopefully more reliable model with just one door. Halle-damn-lujuh!

But we digress...The floor plan for the unit shows one of the bedrooms on the first floor which includes a private pooper and large windows facing both south and east. Upstairs a small landing leads to the master bedroom which includes a windowed bathroom and three closets for Miss Gunn's large collection of slim and conservative suits. A large built in unit in the bedroom can be used for sweater storage, electronics and stashing porn.

When Your Mama lived in New York City we would have gladly given the Dr. Cooter's left leg for a terrace. Mister Gunn, fortunately, will not have to sacrifice a limb for his commodious outdoor space where he can watch the sun rise over the Upper East Side and discreetly sunbathe his slender and girlish body should he choose to do so.

Your Mama begs the children to keep in mind that the current day-core is that of the seller and not that of Mister Gunn. So let's not get all wacky yakking about that obscene wall to wall white carpeting in the upstairs bathroom, the painfully purple walls in the dining room, or any of that crap in the living room because it's all going to be removed and reworked by, we hope, by Mister Gunn's nice gay decorator.

If Your Mama is being honest, and we always are, we are deeply concerned about the overwhelming architectural banality of this apartment and worry that it will take nothing short of a massive overhaul to bring the place up to snuff. So, like Mister Gunn, we're just going to hold our chin between our thumb forefinger, squint our eyes and tell him to, "Make it work," and hope for the best. Your Mama sincerely wishes Mister Gunn a happy new home and many congratulations on his recent television successes and encourage him to let us know if he needs a list of nice gay decorators to help him pull his new crib into shape.

Super Producer Brad Grey Buys New Bel Air Digs

Oooo-wee children, Your Mama bets Mister Nicolas Cage's real estate panties are all in a snit this week. While poor Mister Cage has whacked the asking price of his languishing on the market Copa de Oro Road residence from $35,000,000 to $19,750,000 and still not attracted a serious buyer, the property immediately next door sold off-market for what Your Mama hears was $22,000,000.

We first heard of the 8-figure transaction a week or so ago from the ever-accurate Nelly Knowsitall and then again later from Our Fairy Godmother in Bel Air who both whispered in our big ol' ear that the renovated residence was purchased by diminutive super-producer Brad Grey.

Mister Grey is currently chairman and chief executive of Paramount Pictures and his gilded hands have successfully produced scads of tee-vee programs including The Sopranos, Real Time with Bill Maher, Just Shoot Me, and The Larry Sanders Show. His impressive film credits include Running With Scissors (which was really a much better book than movie), The Departed, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Wedding Singer and The Cable Guy.

Anyhoo, it appears that the dignified white Colonial style crib–or maybe it's Georgian–with black shutters was never on the open market and as best as we can figure was sold by an heir of the recently deceased Franklin Otis Booth Jr. who made some of his billion or two bucks by doing bizness with Oracle of Omaha investor Warren Buffet. Records indicate that a trust controlled by Mister Booth purchased the property in May of 2003 from none other than, surprise!, next door neighbor Nicolas Cage.

Records show the "L" shaped house measures 10,616 square feet and includes four bedrooms and 7 terlits. Since we were unable to locate any listing information that's all the 411 we have on the house and we're just going to have to assume the property records on file with the County of Los Angeles are correct.

In addition to Mister Cage and one of his many real estate white elephants, nearby neighbors include Paris' parents Rick and Kathy Hilton and the sprawling, newly built multi-winged mansion of Benny Alagem who founded Packard Bell Electronics and now owns, among many other things, The Beverly Hills Hilton hotel

Given that Mister and Missus Grey are heading to the court of dee-vorce, it's unclear who will live in the Copa de Oro Road residence and who will live in the family's 13,143 square foot spread on Monaco Drive in the ritzy Riviera area of Pacific Palisades. Records reveal that Mister Grey also own an oceanfront getaway on a particularly posh stretch of sand on Broad Beach Road in Malee-boo where property records reveal nearby neighbors include aged lounge lizards Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gormé and tool tycoon Eric Smidt who in 2005 famously paid a reported $46,000,000 for the The Knoll, the late Marvin Davis' legendary and vast Beverly Hills estate.

A Big Deal in Beverly Park

SELLER: Jeff Bazyler
BUYER: Some really rich Ukis
LOCATION: 40 Beverly Park, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: We don't know yet, but last listed at $31,500,000
SIZE: 27,000 square feet (approx.), 10 bedrooms, 14 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Remarkable new mansion never lived in stands 3 stories tall w/ a gorgeous waterfall running down its side. 27,000 sf on approx 2 acres of lush land. Designed by renowned architect Richard Landry. Features an unbelievable library with a glass floor overlooking 2500 bottle wine cellar, grand ballroom & astounding home theater. Full marble spa in basement, wet/dry massage rms, indoor pool & hot tub, fully landscaped yard (w/ permits for tennis court), outdoor pool w/ fountains and covered loggias.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Although big 8-figure deals are increasingly rare even in the rarefied and high-priced Platinum Triangle areas of Los Angeles, they have not stopped happening altogether. We recently received word from Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills that a 27,000 square foot speck-built faux-Chateau at 40 Beverly Park that was last listed at $31,500,000 recently sold. That's right children, sold. S.O.L.D..

It is our understanding from Glinda the Good Witch that the seller and developer is a biznessman named Jeff Bazyler who heaved the over-sized mansard roofed monster manse onto the market in the fall of 2008 wit a mind-numbing asking price of $49,000,000. It wasn't long before the outrageously lavish property underwent several jumbo price chops (for obvious reasons we will not discuss) until it reached its last asking price of a much lower but still staggering $31,500,000.

At some point, the 10 bedroom and 14 bathroom behemoth was put up for lease with a monthly rent of $145,000. Boo-coo bucks by any standards, but nowhere near the rumored and reported two-hundred grand per month the Little Purple One Prince paid to lease another hotel sized house in Beverly Park last year. According to Glinda, a seemingly endless fountain of high-end and celebrity real estate scuttlebutt, there were no takers at that price.

Your Mama briefly described Mister Bazyler's palatial pile this way in a previous discussion in early March 2009 when we hadn't an inkling anyone was actually interested in writing a fat check for the place:

"The three stories of unrestrained opulence include monumental entertainment spaces including an honest to God ballroom, a poshly paneled circular library with a glass floor that looks down into a 2,500 bottle brick-lined wine cellar, a huge home theater, a marble spa in the basement that includes wet and dry massage rooms, a gigantic gym with mirrored walls, a hot tub and an indoor pool for all those chilly southern California winters. The grounds include a swimming pool, deep loggias for lazy afternoons lounging in the shade and the necessary permits for a tennis court. The necessary permits? Thirty one million bucks and you get permits for a tennis court? Pleeze. For that amount of money we don't only want a tennis court, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter want a deeded to the property and scantily clad tennis pro available at day and night at a moment's notice."

Anyhoo, just when everyone, meaning Your Mama, thought none of those steroidal houses up in Beverly Park was ever going to sell, it happened. The moment we got wind of the sale, we got on the horn to see if we could sort out the identity of the deep-pocketed buyer. After several stabs in the dark and a couple of dead end roads, we heard from the all-knowing Nelly Knowsitall who whispered in Your Mama's big ear that the new owner–whose name she did not offer–are the same really rich Ukrainians–or Ukis as my not so rich Ukrainian pals call themselves–who recently flipped a mansion on Marilyn Drive in Beverly Hills on the market with an asking price of $24,000,000 after purchasing the place in November of 2007 for what records reveal was $17,500,000.

UPDATE LATER SAME DAY: Almost as quickly as we posted our discussion above we heard from Lucy Spillerguts who swears on her lacquered nails and fake boobs that the buyer is a ladee named Oksana Borzina, who may or may not be a front for some other shadowy figure who prefers not to be identified. Miz Borzina appears to be some sort of real estate investor/flipper who also owns two adjacent properties just above the Sunset Strip that records show were purchased for a total of $8,225,000 in 2006 and 2007 and flipped back on to the market in June of 2008 as a single property with a gutsy asking price of $14,600,000. The listing languished on the market for nearly a year and was price chopped to $10,900,000 before the two parcels were uncoupled and recently re-listed as two separate properties. The larger contemporary crib on Sunset Hills Road has an asking price of $8,500,000 while the much more modest property on Cory Avenue has an asking price of $1,995,000.